Saturday, 27 November 2010

friday, but i don't feel the vibe

Actually, i really really really don't feel like going to work this morning. I don't know why, but i just feel too lazy, too tired, too....

It's already 9 and i haven't even finish ironing!

I vomitted alot last night and i don't know why. Am i sick or did i eat something which i'm not supposed to?

Can i take the day off? Can i take mc today....?

*****************************************************
i took half day off due to my laziness! haha.

Monday, 22 November 2010

is dec always so busy?

I'm wondering, is december always so busy? Why so busy?

Dear mr someone. I don't know you very well. So, i wonder why u would like to play game with my heart. Sigh.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

satu hari di hari raya...

suatu hari di hari raya...

Me: Wah, Amira.. pandai la amira wat sudoku. nnt boleh la amira masuk pertandingan. Nanti kalau menang mak ngan bagi Ya hadiah, ye?

Amira: Ok.. Tapi kita rasa, bilik kita tu dah penuh la dengan hadiah.

Me: Kalau macam tu tak payah la mak ngan bagi hadiah lagi.

Amira: tapi.. tapi kita rasa ada kosong sikit lagi la mak ngah. boleh letak lagi hadiah.

Me: hahahaha...

*****************************************************************

Amira: Saya kesian dengan ayah saya.

Me: Kenapa?

Amira: Kesian dengan ayah saya dia tak raya. Dia keje. Saya pun kesian dekat makcik uda, dia pun tak raya. kesian dia..

Me: haha... alahai...

*****************************************************************

Monday, 15 November 2010

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn!

I'm thinking of saying this to someone. but I guess, he just don't give a damn also about me.

.

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

just me ranting~

I feel sooo bad sometimes.

I feel so jealous looking at other people and find them having a good life. smooth life.
true, I dont know for sure how good their life is.
I don't know for sure what difficulties they are facing.
sometimes i just feel so give up with this life i'm leading.
I think I tried hard enuf. i've tried my best but still....
I don't know, is my life is just not blessed?

I alwiz say that I don't care, but lately I've been feeling it.
It is human nature right, to feel loved and cared for. especially a woman like me. (I'm a woman right. no longer a girl. but the sound of it just a little bit weird :P)
At times I just feel like saying this to him. (is it just him, why do I feel something for someone else currently.... it really makes me feel upset. :( )
I feel sad sometimes to go back to my hometown after my younger sister got married recently.
I feel how wonderful it is if I got my own kids. I wanna go home and see them grow up. Then grow old with them, with my loved one. I'm just not lucky enuf to find someone who would love me as much.... :( :( :(
and this feeling is too much lately...

*oh, this gonna be a bit long I think**

I go see my fren's facebook and all... and find mostly have their own business or hobby or something that they can be proud of.
and me? I have nothing. I can't even do my own set of teeth after the accident. do my lasik. buy my own house. or even own a better car. I can't even afford a nice vacation, a hobby or something... all I have is a big debt. which growing....... :( :(
even the fren which make me in such a big debt is having her big business now.
I don't know... don't I try hard enough? Or am I just not lucky? Or am I damned?.......

I was a smart girl in school. I was the best student. I win many competition.
I don't want to involve in love while studying. I am afraid that I will flop. my parents is expecting the best from me. I was afraid that I might do something which I will regret and sinful.
yet... I don't know why it turned out this way....
those kids which do not perform so well in school is doing much better than me now. have a happy family, and did not carry out the big sins. They are the one who flirt and have so much 'love' relationship during school, being socialize....

work have not been easy on me also.
Before this I was so jealous with my friend for having such nice job, with nice pay, with great satisfaction.
But I was thinking maybe I was not thankful enuf, so I learn to accept that.
My life is like that, my job is like that, so all I can do is make the best of it...
But still, after try so hard, and put so much on works, I still.....
I think I put too much on my job already. I work daily till very late. I work from home, I work even during weekend.
but still.... still seems not enuf. what shall I do... what shall I do...?

I just don't understand.
I just hope I can overcome this.
But how to reverse something you can't reverse? Undo things you have done?

If my life is to be a bad one, let me have a good afterlife....
please..........

:( :( ;(

~in teary mode~

May 2024

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