what is life

I'm sorry that all my latest post is about how depressing life is, because life is depressing. At least mine is.

Have you ever wake up and look at your life, and see how you didn't live to your full potential and feel extremely upset. As I grew older, i find it so true. I look back to my life and see how lonely it has become and in the end whatever i fight for is never worth it. Because, face it, it never materialized and in the end you are just this sad old woman, angry and upset all the time. Angry with the world for not happening according to your plan, and you can't do anything about it.

I wanted so much to change the life I live to be glorious, full of good things, helping people, be extraordinary. I challenged the stigma that you need to know somebody to be somebody. I try to do it on my own. Never ask anything from anyone. Never ask for help or anything.

.....but in the end, I'm still alone, still unsuccessful, still doing nothing, going nowhere, still need help from everybody around me.

I feel so useless.
I feel so worthless.

I wonder if life should just end.
Now.

What is apocalypse just happen now. So I don't have to think about life anymore.

end.
15-dec-18