give me the rainbow, so i can feel some happiness

i don't know why, but feeling is not something i can easily explain

i don't know why, but i do feel useless at times

i don't know why, but dear i do miss you so bad sometimes. i believe i just miss your species

i don't know whether i'm lonely or not...

and i certainly don't know if i really need somebody besides myself

I wish I could have the rainbow, but can it bring me happiness?

I wish I have tonnes of money, but can money really buy everything?

I wish all my dreams will come true, that'll be nice

and I wish, I can turn back time, to undo all my mistake, and do the things I'm supposed to do...

but life has to go on........


(deep down my black heart, I wish he don't find happiness at all, cause I can't bring myself do something bad to him, but I also want him to suffer although I'm totally over him)

message of the day

Life is short,
Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance

enjoy! :)

No Regrets

I shouldn't have any regrets.

This what i told myself time after time.
Cause I've already think about my decision over and over again most of the time. Even though I have the tendency to act on impulse...

I bought myself a new handphone.
Sony Ericson W705
I like that phone, true!
But I trade in my precious beloved handphone for RM350 only!
On my!
Seeing my dianaE51 for the last time really break my heart.
The feeling that I will never ever see it again really hit me.
The feeling that I'll never ever gonna hold it in my palm again...
The weight i produce, and how it fit in my palm...
The nice color it has. All the feature it has...
My 4G micro SD memory card!
And I sell it for RM350 only!
The camera is still very good. It has a very clear, good sound...
I should be able to get a much better price for it.
Why do I go with my impulse to go immediately grab that offer?
That's not the best offer I can get!
I'm doing injustice to my beloved dianaE51.
How can I do that to you, and to myself...?

Good bye my dear...
I shouldn't have ANY regrets! SHOULDN'T!!
I'm being overreacted, I know, but.....
I think this is the feeling of losing something/someone important maybe...

Maybe I should start anew... the hell with all the sms from him before
I need to lost all that for me to move on maybe...
Maybe it's all for the better

But I still miss my dianaE51 dearly
can I just mourn for it...?

I took a picture of the last minutes I ever lay my eyes on it again, but I'm unable to upload it yet...
Life's full of sorrow, and regrets... and I wish I don't have too many....

blogger yang penat

aku penat hari nih
penat je datang awl (tak la awal sgt pun)
penat wat report yang banyak (mmg bnyk pun)
penat baca blog (hehe.... bnyk blog)
penat chatting
penat pakai baju kebaya (hehe.. hehe)

aku pun penat nak fikir apa nak tulis sebenarnya... hahahah.....
tp tgk blogger2 tuh cambest jer citer diorg

lantak lah

esok2 tulis lagik.

" your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself"

Sehari di Bukit Cerakah (Taman Pertanian Bukit Cahaya Seri Alam)

Plan untuk ke Genting terpaksa di batalkan kerana ketiadaan pengangkutan!

Kemudian untuk tidak menghampakan diri masing-masing kami pun bercadang untuk pergi ke Bukit Cerakah Shah Alam.
Bukan pilihan yang terbijak, pada musim cuti sekolah ni.

Tiada basikal untuk di naiki...

Kelewatan bas....

Cuaca yang sangat panas....

Apa-apa pun kami bercadang untuk memastikan persinggahan kami ke Bukit Cerakah berbaloi :)

After 1 year.....

after 1 year......

well, i don't really know what to write in this entry.
It was last week that i realize that it has been 1 year since I start this blog. Means that it has been 1 year since he ditched me. It has been 1 year since I feel so.... It all happen 1 year ago...
Sometimes I just wonder if I really miss him... But, recently I keep thinking of him. Wonder how he has been doing.
Sometimes I just don't care.
Whatever..

I think that I'm happier these days... Can be seen by my increasing weight. :)

I've been wanting the break-up long before that, but I just cannot accept that he's the one leaving me. Because all this while, he have kept telling me don't go..... &#!+

Whatever...

Break-up really do me good :)
I got to do thing which I'm unable to do before.
I got time for things I've never have time for before.
I don't have headache for the stupid relationship anymore.
All and all, I think I'm happy.

But to forgive him..... never....

~the day when the glory of youth leave you~

it is a hot day, and i feel so sleepy i can't help it.
it is then i decided to write something in my blog. the blog that i've quite forgotten for quite some times...

why today suddenly i'm writing about the glory of youth?
well it maybe because of what i encounter during lunch today.
i was having my lunch @ ani sup utara today. alone. (yes, it's normal). and i saw a group of student having their meal in front of me. there are 10 of them. some wearing their uni shirt. 5 girls and 5 boys. i dont think they are all couples, not saying that. they maybe some study group, or assignment group juz finish discussion and decided to have lunch together.
it makes me think of my student year. how i miss those days.
then it struck me. how old could this group of student be? cannot be more than 21 right? it's almost 10 years my junior! and seeing them make me feel old, spent.

try thinking of my achievement... hmm, not much.
how about my experience?... hmm, not so much nice one
friends? .....got quite a few. but, i can't seem to figure what are they up to these days

it make me think again (again....). have i waste my youth with something not meaningful?
then, i decide that i must do everything i plan to do before. there shouldn't be any regret in life. i don't want to grow old regretting many things.
i haven't had my swim lesson (well, juz enroll in a class last week. yeay!!). havn't climb the gunung kinabalu, gunung than, gunung jerai... not even gunung nuang! i decide that i shouldn't wait for all these people, i should go for what i wanted.

this is one quote i decide will work for me for now.
"learn new thing every month"
so, i've enroll in a swimming class. i've decided that i'm going to find a mandarin class later, then a kick-boxing or martial art class. well, one class for one or two month only! ~limited budget ler~ :P

well, it's all for now i guess.
i've decided to put a daily quote (well, per entry post only. not necessarily daily) for every post. so, here goes...

quote for today:
"choose a positive thought. the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time"