.....life is

I really need to do something with my life.

I don't know what happen to me. I sit here now, at Burger King buying lunch/dinner and reading gossip. What a waste. 

I want to write, but it's easier to write to someone instead of writing to myself. I can write to myself before, but not now.

Well, there's something here about my feeling that I need to write about. There's also about somebody else. I shall change her name.

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So, I've got time to review and put this post out there. I've decided that I shall take out the story of my friend and write out her story instead.

This girl I know after I join a diving trip. She's around five years younger than I am, but she's already married and a divorcee when I first met her. I did't know that then. Anyway, we gotten close because she's very easy going and friendly, and I am in need of friend.

Our closeness have surpassed the relationship I had with my other friend. We can finish each other sentence and we can read each other's mind and this really make my other friends jealous. So, when she decided that she's going to quit her job and further study, I feel sad but I give her my full support. I know that's what she want to do and that's what I want to. Litle that I know that I'm going to lost her.

After she went back to her hometown, she met with her old flame. He's a big shot, and their relatioship was not approved by his family members. Anyway, as jodoh is written not by us, they get married and I thought they live happily ever after. I also didn't try to contact her so much because i just don't want to meddle in other's marriage.

This all until I had my depression and contact her again. Then I get to know how her in-laws treated her. Just because she's not a big shot, just because she don't wear glamourously, she's almost treated like nobody. Almost like a maid. They also don't trust her. It's like she put something that her husband come back just looking for her. He don't want to get married when he knew that she's married to somebody else then.

Listening to her, I do feel like I can still cope with my life. Mine isn't so bad.. I think..
I also found that money don't make people classier or smarter. But, life is like that. We can't make life happen just the way we want. There's a bigger picture. There's a deeper meaning. There's more important meaning to life other than what we see...

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Ok, let me just summarize what happens today. I have a swollen face. Sakit gigi. Bad. really really bad. Had been 3 days. It's the bad tooth from a few months ago. It comes back. worse.

So I've been trying to not going to the clinic. Because it'll be too expensive for me. I'm broke. I'm totally broke. Totally broke.

So, I've decided to go to a clinic for 3 days in a row now. I wanted to go to gov clinic, because cheaper. So, I just can't bring myself out in the morning. DAMN!! So, I finally get myself out today, Wednesday, to KJ Dental clinic. Well, I try to find any in Shah Alam, but I just can't. Then I figure that I'll go to KJ, so I reach the clinic at around 4.30pm (yes I'm late). Then I saw the opening time, that today is free without any appointment, but but but... when I see the girl at the register counter, she said that today is only for kids. Below 17yo. I said I am a student too, but no.. only for below 17. 😤😔😢😢😢😢

So, I decided that I will just go back and come back tomorrow at 7.30am If I can wake up. 

I can't thnik of anything right now, the mosquito in Burger King is feasting on me! 

Just, hopefully I can recover. And I can figure out what to do tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another day. 

Don't give up yet.